I love elections, don't you? Even if my cousin doesn't win. The most recent AFN election had the usual dramatics, not bad, not bad. But it was not the same slamfest as in olden times when Phil "The Silver Fox" Fontaine and Ovide "The Crow" Mercredi squared off. Those were usually political boilers that seemed to go on forever and ever and provided oodles of entertainment, even if you cynically took the position that the outcome didn't make a difference (this position was usually taken by someone who's chosen candidate either didn't win, or wasn't even nominated).

There I'd be, chain-smoking the free Sago cigarettes I got from the Mohawk tobacco stand in the AFN Trade Show. It usually got to the point where the guy wouldn't give me any more. "Hey, I thought we were brothers." Oh well, my bag would still be bursting with free pens, mugs, pins and other junk anyway. Who said the days of trinkets and beads were gone? I found you usually get more and better stuff if you pretend to be an actual band councilor from somewhere. You could say you had the band portfolio that matched whatever stuff they happened to be hawking (i.e. Health, Housing, Education).

Anyway, this recent election pitted The Silver Fox against Matthew "Weaselface" Coon Come and Roberta "It Isn't Nice To Call A lady Names" Jamieson. Matthew was surprisingly knocked off the first ballot. I guess three years of blistering speeches, disquieting fist-shaking and tedious door knocking don't account for much in this Indian country. Roberta herself promised to raise hell. Course anyone with any sort of grip on reality will know that this kind of threatening jabber only leads you to the question of exactly how hard are you willing to bite the hand that feeds you. Ovide bit too hard, too often (and often for questionable reasons, does anyone remember the Charlottown Accord?). In fact, when I think back on ancient history I have to ask myself, who was that masked man? Course if you're as naïve as Matthew you would hire Ovide as an aide, to show you up and usurp the reins from you every time you turned your back (does anyone remember Burnt Church?).

A word of advice to Ovide: nobody listens to a dog that barks too much.

I couldn't tell you if Roberta would have been okay as a National Chief.But it would have been a definite moon-walk for the chiefs to elect a woman. It's, after all, only the year 2004. Had Roberta been as vocal as she threatened to be (and you never really know what these people are going to do based on what they say at these election conferences, like any other politician I guess. Except Ovide maybe, he seemed to do exactly what he said he would do, be a pain in the government's butt, and that still didn't seem to get much done), she would have merely alienated herself from Great White Purse.

Cause folks, let's be people of the world, the fact is the federal government funds AFN, how rough on the government can you be? All Matthew accomplished in three years was he managed to lose half of AFN's budget, even Ovide couldn't do that. And you should note, with half their budget gone what was the ripple down affect at the community level? Nothing. Unless you read newspapers or watch CBC Newsworld you wouldn't even have known it happened. That seems to strengthen the argument that AFN is not relevant at the community level. But when people say this they seem to suggest that it was relevant at some time, or that it should be. Get the facts straight, this is an organization of chiefs, by the chiefs, for the chiefs, anyone who thinks or argues otherwise is either a liar, in denial or just plain, old-fashioned stoo-pid.

The chiefs are in denial themselves. They seem to see themselves as these great defenders of Treaty Rights, or Indian Rights, or Human Rights, or whatever. They're not. People like Big Bear and Poundmaker were defenders. People like Big Bear and Poundmaker actually risked their lives for their people. They faced death. They didn't know what was going to happen to them. And their people faced starvation. These days we have nothing but programming dollars to lose if we speak out. And there's no-one really starving back home. We're all dying from cancer and diabetes because of all the sugar and fat junk we've got to eat. My grandparents worked their asses off to earn a living before the advent of welfare. My father was a labourer who raised six kids and would rather have worked picking sugarbeets and blueberries than accepted welfare. Besides complaining, I myself actually have a real job. But for the most part a lot of our people are quite content to exist on the welfare dollars doled out grudgingly by the federal or provincial governments. You get what you are willing to tolerate.

You constantly hear the chiefs complaining that government doesn't respect them. Why should it? Didn't they ever hear that respect is earned? If the government refused to listen to them, why didn't they storm the Parliament when they marched there last year? There are over 600 of them. Security couldn't have stopped them all. It would have at least embarrassed the government. It would have at least got national coverage, possibly even international. It would have reflected the deep frustration they feel and gotten on the Parliamentary agenda. Why didn't they do this? Cause they're chicken, that's why.

It's easy to squash dissension in your own community, beat your own already powerless people down, or attack criticism like I'm blabbing out right now (I wouldn't at all be surprised if at least one Indian leader is dumb enough to try). They wouldn't storm the Parliament because there are white people in there and they might go to jail. But it wouldn't even be the big time their people are doing in places like Kingston . At best it would be over night, or till those fancy-shmancy AFN lawyers got them bail. But then they'd lose their cell phones. They couldn't maintain control of their business wheeling and dealings. Young political upstarts in their communities could take advantage of the situation. It would cause all sorts of inconveniences, not to mention they'd have to eat jail food instead of expensive Ottawa cuisine. I'm sure Big Bear was faced with this very same dilemma, but where would history have been had he not somehow persevered?

In the AFN Election the chiefs had no choice but to elect Phil, for the simple fact that Phil is Paul Martin's friend. And like it or not folks Paul Martin is the Prime Minister of Canada. Really, whenever has an AFN candidate been so closely associated with the actual seat of power? Never. The gravy train is tooting around the mountain boys and girls, better have your tickets ready or you'll miss your ride. Honestly, I don't think the government could have withstood three more years of door knocking. And quite honestly, despite Roberta's commendable resume, she couldn't force the government to do anything. They'd just slam the door in her face like they did to Ovide and Matthew.

I've got lots more to complain about, but I think this is enough for now. Bye.