Enter the PRINCE and PETO, marching, and FALSTAFF
meets them playing on his truncheon like a fife.
How now, lad! is the wind in that door, i' faith?
must we all march?
BARDOLPH: Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion. 
Hostess: My lord, I pray you, hear me.
PRINCE HENRY: What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How
doth thy husband? I love him well; he is an honest
Hostess: Good my lord, hear me. 
FALSTAFF: Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.
PRINCE HENRY: What sayest thou, Jack?
FALSTAFF: The other night I fell asleep here behind the
arras and had my pocket picked: this house is turned
bawdy-house; they pick pockets. 
PRINCE HENRY: What didst thou lose, Jack?
FALSTAFF: Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four
bonds of forty pound a-piece, and a seal-ring of my
PRINCE HENRY: A trifle, some eight-penny matter. 
Hostess: So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard
your grace say so: and, my lord, he speaks most vilely
of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said he
would cudgel you.
PRINCE HENRY: What! he did not? 
Hostess: There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood
in me else.
FALSTAFF: There's no more faith in thee than in a
stewed prune; nor no more truth in thee than in a
drawn fox; and for womanhood, Maid Marian may 
be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you
Hostess: Say, what thing? what thing?
FALSTAFF: What thing! why, a thing to thank God on.
Hostess: I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou 
shouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife: and,
setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call
FALSTAFF: Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a
beast to say otherwise. 
Hostess: Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?
FALSTAFF: What beast! why, an otter.
PRINCE HENRY: An otter, Sir John! Why an otter?
FALSTAFF: Why, she's neither fish nor flesh; a man
knows not where to have her. 
Hostess: Thou art an unjust man in saying so: thou
or any man knows where to have me, thou knave,
PRINCE HENRY: Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee
most grossly. 
Hostess: So he doth you, my lord; and said this other
day you ought him a thousand pound.
PRINCE HENRY: Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?
FALSTAFF: A thousand pound, Hal! a million: thy
love is worth a million: thou owest me thy love. 
Hostess: Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said
he would cudgel you.
FALSTAFF: Did I, Bardolph?
BARDOLPH: Indeed, Sir John, you said so.
FALSTAFF: Yea, if he said my ring was copper. 
PRINCE HENRY: I say 'tis copper: darest thou be as good as
thy word now?
FALSTAFF: Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare:
but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I fear
the roaring of the lion's whelp. 
PRINCE HENRY: And why not as the lion?
FALSTAFF: The king is to be feared as the lion:
dost thou think I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay,
an I do, I pray God my girdle break.
PRINCE HENRY: O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about 
thy knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith,
truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is all filled
up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest woman
with picking thy pocket! why, thou whoreson,
impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything 
in thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums
of bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of sugar-
candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocket were
enriched with any other injuries but these, I am a
villain: and yet you will stand to it; you will not 
pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?
FALSTAFF: Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the
state of innocency Adam fell; and what should poor
Jack Falstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest I
have more flesh than another man, and therefore more 
frailty. You confess then, you picked my pocket?
PRINCE HENRY: It appears so by the story.
FALSTAFF: Hostess, I forgive thee: go, make ready[Exit Hostess.]
breakfast; love thy husband, look to thy servants,
cherish thy guests: thou shalt find me tractable to any 
honest reason: thou seest I am pacified still. Nay,
prithee, be gone.
Now Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery, lad,
how is that answered?
PRINCE HENRY: O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel 
to thee: the money is paid back again.
FALSTAFF: O, I do not like that paying back; 'tis a
PRINCE HENRY: I am good friends with my father and may
do any thing. 
FALSTAFF: Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou
doest, and do it with unwashed hands too.
BARDOLPH: Do, my lord.
PRINCE HENRY: I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.
FALSTAFF: I would it had been of horse. Where shall I 
find one that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of the
age of two and twenty or thereabouts! I am heinously
unprovided. Well, God be thanked for these rebels,
they offend none but the virtuous: I laud them, I
praise them. 
PRINCE HENRY: Bardolph!
BARDOLPH: My lord?
PRINCE HENRY: Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster, land.
To my brother John; this to my Lord of Westmore-
Go, Peto, to horse, to horse; for thou and I 
Have thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.
Jack, meet me to-morrow in the temple hall
At two o'clock in the afternoon.
There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receive
Money and order for their furniture. 
The land is burning; Percy stands on high;
And either we or they must lower lie.
[Exit PRINCE HENRY.]
FALSTAFF: Rare words! brave world! Hostess, my breakfast, come!
O, I could wish this tavern were my drum!