Fool: If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not in
danger of kibes?
KING LEAR: Ay, boy. 
Fool: Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne'er go
KING LEAR: Ha, ha, ha!
Fool: Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee
kindly; for though she's as like this as a crab's like 
an apple, yet I can tell what I can tell.
KING LEAR: Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?
Fool: She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab.
Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i' the middle on's
KING LEAR: No.
Fool: Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose;
that what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.
KING LEAR: I did her wrong--
Fool: Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell? 
KING LEAR: No.
Fool: Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a
KING LEAR: Why?
Fool: Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to 
his daughters, and leave his horns without a case.
KING LEAR: I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be
my horses ready?
Fool: Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why
the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty 
KING LEAR: Because they are not eight?
Fool: Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.
KING LEAR: To take't again perforce. Monster ingratitude!
Fool: If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'd have thee 
beaten for being old before thy time.
KING LEAR: How's that?
Fool: Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst
KING LEAR: O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven! Enter Gentleman.
Keep me in temper: I would not be mad!
How now! are the horses ready?
Gentleman: Ready, my lord.
KING LEAR: Come, boy.
Fool: She that's a maid now, and laughs at my departure, 
Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.