[Enter LUCIO and two Gentlemen]
LUCIO: If the duke with the other dukes come not to
composition with the King of Hungary, why then all
the dukes fall upon the king.
First Gentleman: Heaven grant us its peace, but not the King of
Hungary's! [5]
Second Gentleman: Amen.
LUCIO: Thou concludest like the sanctimonious pirate, that
went to sea with the Ten Commandments, but scraped
one out of the table.
Second Gentleman: 'Thou shalt not steal'? [10]
LUCIO: Ay, that he razed.
First Gentleman: Why, 'twas a commandment to command the captain and
all the rest from their functions: they put forth
to steal. There's not a soldier of us all, that, in
the thanksgiving before meat, do relish the petition [15]
well that prays for peace.
Second Gentleman: I never heard any soldier dislike it.
LUCIO: I believe thee; for I think thou never wast where
grace was said.
Second Gentleman: No? a dozen times at least. [20]
First Gentleman: What, in metre?
LUCIO: In any proportion or in any language.
First Gentleman: I think, or in any religion.
LUCIO: Ay, why not? Grace is grace, despite of all
controversy: as, for example, thou thyself art a [25]
wicked villain, despite of all grace.
First Gentleman: Well, there went but a pair of shears between us.
LUCIO: I grant; as there may between the lists and the
velvet. Thou art the list.
First Gentleman: And thou the velvet: thou art good velvet; thou'rt [30]
a three-piled piece, I warrant thee: I had as lief
be a list of an English kersey as be piled, as thou
art piled, for a French velvet. Do I speak
feelingly now?
LUCIO: I think thou dost; and, indeed, with most painful [35]
feeling of thy speech: I will, out of thine own
confession, learn to begin thy health; but, whilst I
live, forget to drink after thee.
First Gentleman: I think I have done myself wrong, have I not?
Second Gentleman: Yes, that thou hast, whether thou art tainted or free. [40]
LUCIO: Behold, behold. where Madam Mitigation comes! I
have purchased as many diseases under her roof as come to--
Second Gentleman: To what, I pray?
LUCIO: Judge.
Second Gentleman: To three thousand dolours a year. [45]
First Gentleman: Ay, and more.
LUCIO: A French crown more.
First Gentleman: Thou art always figuring diseases in me; but thou
art full of error; I am sound.
LUCIO: Nay, not as one would say, healthy; but so sound as [50]
things that are hollow: thy bones are hollow;
impiety has made a feast of thee.
[Enter MISTRESS OVERDONE]
First Gentleman: How now! which of your hips has the most profound sciatica?
MISTRESS OVERDONE: Well, well; there's one yonder arrested and carried
to prison was worth five thousand of you all. [55]
Second Gentleman: Who's that, I pray thee?
MISTRESS OVERDONE: Marry, sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.
First Gentleman: Claudio to prison? 'tis not so.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: Nay, but I know 'tis so: I saw him arrested, saw
him carried away; and, which is more, within these [60]
three days his head to be chopped off.
LUCIO: But, after all this fooling, I would not have it so.
Art thou sure of this?
MISTRESS OVERDONE: I am too sure of it: and it is for getting Madam
Julietta with child. [65]
LUCIO: Believe me, this may be: he promised to meet me two
hours since, and he was ever precise in
promise-keeping.
Second Gentleman: Besides, you know, it draws something near to the
speech we had to such a purpose. [70]
First Gentleman: But, most of all, agreeing with the proclamation.
LUCIO: Away! let's go learn the truth of it.
[Exeunt LUCIO and Gentlemen]
MISTRESS OVERDONE: Thus, what with the war, what with the sweat, what
with the gallows and what with poverty, I am
custom-shrunk. [75]
[Enter POMPEY]
How now! what's the news with you?
POMPEY: Yonder man is carried to prison.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: Well; what has he done?
POMPEY: A woman.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: But what's his offence? [80]
POMPEY: Groping for trouts in a peculiar river.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: What, is there a maid with child by him?
POMPEY: No, but there's a woman with maid by him. You have
not heard of the proclamation, have you?
MISTRESS OVERDONE: What proclamation, man? [85]
POMPEY: All houses in the suburbs of Vienna must be plucked down.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: And what shall become of those in the city?
POMPEY: They shall stand for seed: they had gone down too,
but that a wise burgher put in for them.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: But shall all our houses of resort in the suburbs be [90]
pulled down?
POMPEY: To the ground, mistress.
MISTRESS OVERDONE: Why, here's a change indeed in the commonwealth!
What shall become of me?
POMPEY: Come; fear you not: good counsellors lack no [95]
clients: though you change your place, you need not
change your trade; I'll be your tapster still.
Courage! there will be pity taken on you: you that
have worn your eyes almost out in the service, you
will be considered. [100]
MISTRESS OVERDONE: What's to do here, Thomas tapster? let's withdraw.
POMPEY: Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the provost to
prison; and there's Madam Juliet.
[Exeunt]
[Enter Provost, CLAUDIO, JULIET, and Officers]
CLAUDIO: Fellow, why dost thou show me thus to the world?
Bear me to prison, where I am committed. [105]
Provost: I do it not in evil disposition,
But from Lord Angelo by special charge.
CLAUDIO: Thus can the demigod Authority
Make us pay down for our offence by weight
The words of heaven; on whom it will, it will; [110]
On whom it will not, so; yet still 'tis just.
[Re-enter LUCIO and two Gentlemen]
LUCIO: Why, how now, Claudio! whence comes this restraint?
CLAUDIO: From too much liberty, my Lucio, liberty:
As surfeit is the father of much fast,
So every scope by the immoderate use [115]
Turns to restraint. Our natures do pursue,
Like rats that ravin down their proper bane,
A thirsty evil; and when we drink we die.
LUCIO: If could speak so wisely under an arrest, I would
send for certain of my creditors: and yet, to say [120]
the truth, I had as lief have the foppery of freedom
as the morality of imprisonment. What's thy
offence, Claudio?
CLAUDIO: What but to speak of would offend again.
LUCIO: What, is't murder? [125]
CLAUDIO: No.
LUCIO: Lechery?
CLAUDIO: Call it so.
Provost: Away, sir! you must go.
CLAUDIO: One word, good friend. Lucio, a word with you. [130]
LUCIO: A hundred, if they'll do you any good.
Is lechery so look'd after?
CLAUDIO: Thus stands it with me: upon a true contract
I got possession of Julietta's bed:
You know the lady; she is fast my wife, [135]
Save that we do the denunciation lack
Of outward order: this we came not to,
Only for propagation of a dower
Remaining in the coffer of her friends,
From whom we thought it meet to hide our love [140]
Till time had made them for us. But it chances
The stealth of our most mutual entertainment
With character too gross is writ on Juliet.
LUCIO: With child, perhaps?
CLAUDIO: Unhappily, even so. [145]
And the new deputy now for the duke--
Whether it be the fault and glimpse of newness,
Or whether that the body public be
A horse whereon the governor doth ride,
Who, newly in the seat, that it may know [150]
He can command, lets it straight feel the spur;
Whether the tyranny be in his place,
Or in his emmence that fills it up,
I stagger in:--but this new governor
Awakes me all the enrolled penalties [155]
Which have, like unscour'd armour, hung by the wall
So long that nineteen zodiacs have gone round
And none of them been worn; and, for a name,
Now puts the drowsy and neglected act
Freshly on me: 'tis surely for a name. [160]
LUCIO: I warrant it is: and thy head stands so tickle on
thy shoulders that a milkmaid, if she be in love,
may sigh it off. Send after the duke and appeal to
him.
CLAUDIO: I have done so, but he's not to be found. [165]
I prithee, Lucio, do me this kind service:
This day my sister should the cloister enter
And there receive her approbation:
Acquaint her with the danger of my state:
Implore her, in my voice, that she make friends [170]
To the strict deputy; bid herself assay him:
I have great hope in that; for in her youth
There is a prone and speechless dialect,
Such as move men; beside, she hath prosperous art
When she will play with reason and discourse, [175]
And well she can persuade.
LUCIO: I pray she may; as well for the encouragement of the
like, which else would stand under grievous
imposition, as for the enjoying of thy life, who I
would be sorry should be thus foolishly lost at a [180]
game of tick-tack. I'll to her.
CLAUDIO: I thank you, good friend Lucio.
LUCIO: Within two hours.